Bad Behavior: Fawn Park

You know I would hate to be the one to piss off the community I claim as home but one of our part-time residents sure has done a good job of it. I’ve certainly taken my own share of heat but if you want to piss your neighbors off, take notes because this is the way to do it:

First, solicit money from your neighbors and local organizations promising to open a community park. Next, make a big splash in local, regional, and national media regarding your benevolent work. Do this over and over again.

If you are really clever, you can get a memento from a big disaster and place it within the park to establish it as a memorial. This is smart since every time there is an anniversary this would present an opportunity to solicit more media attention and money.

Build the park with all kinds of unique items. Include a stage, work out areas, kiddie play toys, and include a horseshoe pit…that way you entice all ages to enter and show future promise of good things to come.

For a lark, place movie prop figures around the park so that they scare early morning amblers, evening walkers, and wandering animals. The upside is the figures can provide enrichment opportunities for high school students who, if bored, could amuse themselves by helping the figures turn up in pictures at different locations around town–kind of like that garden gnome or Mr. Bill.

Landscape the place nicely, plant lovely flowers, put in picnic tables and enclose your creation within an attractive white fence. Be sure to place a beautifully constructed sign with the park name and one of the native wildlife figures on it.

Now that you have created such a lovely park and convinced people that you have done a really benevolent thing…announce at the monthly community meeting that you will hold a party in the park for all to attend. When it comes time for the event, cancel it.

Solicit requests for events and activities within the park, consider them, but then cancel or prohibit usage. Next, prevent locals and town visitors from using the facility during one of the biggest weekends in the downtown area.

Finally, get mad at people, call them and rant, threaten to sue them, demand organizations and business groups meet with you…if you do all these things you can really burn your bridges. Sound familiar?

What I was not aware of was that a few donors were told that names would appear on a donation wall. This type of tribute or acknowlegement is usually constructed with tiles containing the names of all those who donated to the project.

An annonymous post made up a song about the park owner and I was not sure I wanted to post it but why censor? (See comments to “Marty Engles Song”)

So, I have to ask…as the race for Mayor looms–will the park be a platform? Have any of you written to the corporate officiers?



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3 Responses to “Bad Behavior: Fawn Park

  • 1
    U. Pulmileg
    September 12th, 2006 19:14

    I will support you whole-heartedly if you support getting that park either opened – or destroyed. I say destroyed because it is a slap in my face every time I drive by it and see it closed. In this day and age of ours where there is some pretty horrible stuff going on around the world, one would hope to find kindness and unity in the neighborhood they live in. The ‘Owner’ of the park is giving Fawnskin a big black eye by his behavior. I’m ashamed of him. I say let’s improve a little spot of land around Grout Bay where people can come and sit and enjoy all Fawnskin has to offer. Throw up a bench and a trash barrel, that’s all we need. One question though.. is this bid for mayor, where you say votes are bought, going to end up the same way the “donate money for a Park” thing did? Where does the money go? I’ve had my share of ‘snipe hunts’ for Fawnskin thank you very much…

  • 2
    J. Netherlands
    September 14th, 2006 19:42

    Boy, that person had some righteous things to say.. Rock on brother, or sister. I support you for mayor cuz you’re pretty together. I’m leaving some quarters in the village for you. Hope you make it! Fawnskin rules!

  • 3
    Mtngram
    September 15th, 2006 08:33

    When I think of generous ‘donors’ Bill and Melinda Gates come instantly to mind. Unselfishly, they have given to schools, communities and cities. The so-called donor of the newest Fawn Park shows clearly that he is bankrupt in the charity department and truly an extreme egoist.